I was surprised that the email i received that would really make me so happy didn't come from my husband, my family or friends. It came from someone who is a total stranger whose name I just hear from my conversations with my husband. It came from Colonel David Paschal, Jorge's superior officer. It was one of his routine emails to the families in his company greeting us a happy 4th of July. After all the pleasantries, he made an announcement that we have been waiting for for so long. Jorge's deployment was scheduled to end by late December into early January. His email answered our prayers. Below is the actual email that I received: Warrior Family Members,
On behalf of the Warrior Combat Team I want to extend a special greeting on our Nation’s birthday. I know that this is a special time for families to gather and enjoy all that the summer season has to offer and a time to reflect on our great Nation. As I look at the Warrior Team, I share a deep pride knowing that the Soldiers and their families are the true patriots that make our nation great. As a Warrior Family, we live by a set values that defines us as an Army and as a nation. It is these values that comforts us during times of loss and give us the strength to pick each other up, so that we may continue our mission here in Iraq, so that others may live in freedom. It is this strength that preserves our way of life, builds a future of hope for others, and delivers victory over our enemies. Many of you are perhaps wondering when we will return from this deployment. I am happy to report with great confidence that we’ll be home by mid November. I can speak for the entire Warrior team and let you know that we are all looking forward to that special day when we can reunite with our families. That day will be here soon; however, as we come to the final quarter of this deployment, I want to reinforce the importance of remaining focused on our mission. We are about to go through some important transitions as we begin setting the conditions for our transfer of authority ceremony in early November. These changes require us all to be alert with no room for complacency. I am charging all leaders to reinforce the standards that have kept us safe these many months. We are all looking forward to the day we return to Fort Drum. We understand that our way home is through our mission accomplishment and that we must stay focused until that day comes. Your love and support will help us all get to that special day.
Climb to Glory! Colonel David Paschal
When people I meet find out that my husband is in the army, the most common reaction is, "How do you deal with it?" My response was always, "I just keep busy." That line worked for the first few months of his deployment when I had to deal with fixing our insurance information, changing my name on my ID cards, preparing the paperwork for my greencard, and decorating the apartment. Now that everything that needs to be done has been accomplished and that we are 9 months into the deployment, I start to feel the distance. It has been a week since Jorge called me last. I know i should expect this since missions would usually last 3-4 days, sometimes, it can even last for a week. Jorge averages 2 phone calls a week, so if i dont get any calls for one whole week, i start to get edgy. The other army wives would reassure me saying that no news is always good news, they are just busy. When Jorge does call, he cannot really give me any details regarding his missions. He just gives me a general account saying that the mission was successful, everybody is ok and they caught some bad guys. As his wife, I feel bad since I know there are things that happen during these missions that can haunt his dreams but for security reasons, he cannot share any of it with me to 'unload.' So what is it like being an army wife? Tough. Very tough First, I am here doing all chores and making all decisions alone. Even if I can consult with my husband with household and financial decisions whenever he calls, almost always I am left with the task to decide then and there. Then, when things bother me at work or when my emotional tank is running low, I dont have my best friend here to talk to. But that is the least of my worries. If i have to do things by myself, I will make myself do it. The biggest challenge an army wife has to deal with is the worry she feels for the safety of her husband. Everyday, I always make it a point to keep my cellphone at hand. I CANNOT miss any of his phonecalls. Each phone call is as important as life itself. As morbid as it sounds, it may be the last. Then, when he does get home safely, the next big challenge is to adjust to having him around when I am already so used to being alone. We have to start from scratch and work towards getting to know each other once more. We both have to adjust to the changes in our lives because at the end of the deployment, neither spouse is the same, more so with him since he will have to reintegrate himself to the civilian world and deal with post-traumatic stress disorder. On a more positive note, being apart, pushes us put the effort to make the conversation as happy as possible. We feel closer as we develop our communication skills as husband and wife more and more. We also consult each other on big purchases and make decisions together on scenarios we expect to happen. We both recount favorite memories like how our feet rub against each other under the sheets even if we are facing opposite sides of the bed and plan trips like going to Miami and spend a weekend strolling along South Beach. For now, past memories, the good opportunities we would have in the future and the promise of togetherness are what keeps us strong and sane. It's true, absence does make the heart grow fonder...but it only holds true if both parties make the commitment to nourish your relationship. So far so good. Right now, we have begun counting down the days. Six more months! I can't wait to see him. Hope this answers some questions out there.
In Iraq time, our First Year Anniversary has already arrived. All day long, I have been wishing that Jorge would call me. First, to greet him a happy anniversary and second, since i have been very emotional lately, i just wanted to hear his voice. When I came home at 6pm from work, I knew that it was already 3am Iraq time and Jorge was awake. When I stepped in the front door, a long slender box was waiting there for me. Like a child on Christmas morning, i ripped the box open to find 12 long-stemmed roses. I was crying when, as if on cue, the phone rang. It was my husband wishing me a Happy Anniversary and at the same time apologizing since that was the only thing he can do for me there right now. I assured him repeatedly that his present was perfect. That wasn't the only thing that made my day. He was very happy to receive the CD and card that Jose Feliciano sent him. We both had the same idea. We both wanted to send a big surprise and it worked out so perfectly. Isn't it funny how we received our surprise presents on the same day and how perfectly matched we are to our gifts? My husband loves music and receives a CD. I love romance and I get roses. This is a moment i will remember forever. Despite the distance, we made it work! We had a heartwarming, memorable first year anniversary.
Watching the Children play in the yard today, my assistant and I started talking about how we would name our students if they had been our children. We would say, "This boy looks like a Peter" or "This girl is really an Emma Renee." I know for a fact that I do not look like a Claire. My question to all of you is: "What name suits me best?" What do i look like? Do i look like a Monica or a Stephanie? My friends gave me those answers. What about you?
For a whole month now, I have been wracking my brains trying to come up with a really good and memorable First Year Anniversary for my hubby. He helped me out a bit by asking me to send him new running Asics sneakers, Adidas massaging slippers and an Ipod touch. I've sent all those with a short note: "Happy Anniversary." But for some strange reason, it felt like it wasn't enough. Those were necessities, not really wants and besides, they weren't at all that personal and sentimental. Then just two days ago, an idea popped up. Jorge loves listening to Jose Feliciano, a blind Puerto Rican musician who became famous here in the United States. I went online and searched for a mailing address until i chanced upon an email address. I wrote to him asking if he can send a greeting card and maybe an autographed CD to Jorge there in Iraq. To my delight, his wife wrote to me saying they would do just that. She then gave me some good advice regarding having to deal with being separated from her husband for long periods of time and even having to experience celebrating anniversaries apart. She knows exactly how i feel and both of them would very much to send a thank you to our heroes out there. For her, this is the perfect opportunitiy to do so. The thought of Jorge opening a package sent by his favorite singer would be a very memorable moment for him. She said that they would be sending a card and a CD. By some weird coincidence, i stayed true to the basic gift-giving rule of anniversaries. The traditional gift for a first year anniversary is paper and the modern gift is plastic. If she sends a card and a CD, they very much well be my paper and plastic gifts. So to my husband, Happy Anniversary, mi amor! I can't wait to see you again!
As I type, the Holy Father is wrapping up his visit to the US with a mass in the Yankee Stadium. I wasn't able to see him in person because going through security is like going through the eye of a needle. That and the fact that i had to accompany MY father to the hospital yesterday prevented me to wait in line along 5th Ave. for his motorcade. But i followed his visit intently on TV. For a man who has a reputation of being serious and conservative, he surprised everybody with his warm and cheerful aura. Each day, i watched as he captured the hearts of his faithful. His homilies were short but clear. He wanted to say what he had to say leaving no room for misinterpretation. Two of the points that stood out for me were his invitation to the young people to welcome a spiritual vocation and his call for everybody to defend life especially that of the unborn child. Each point were interrupted with a big applause from the crowd. Today is his last day here and this morning, being in the Yankee Stadium wasn't all that comfortable. I went out to attend mass at my parish and we had overcast skies with a chilly wind. I can only imagine how the people waiting at the stadium for several hours were feeling. But by some Divine power, as soon as the Pope arrived, the sun broke through the clouds as if God was in charge of the spotlights. Pope Benedict DOES have connections! Little by little, I am falling in love with our Pope. Pope John Paul II holds a special place in my heart and slowly, Pope Benedict is making his way in to join him. How I wish I can see him in person. My lifelong wish is to attend mass in St. Peter's Basilica. Soon, I will be there. Wish me luck! By the way, Pope Benedict has an I-pod!
| |
